egberts:

viarga:

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and killing you instantly

thats why you have to make sure you have huge pockets before you go house shopping duh

(via truthxpaste)

• Cutest thing ever: When people get really excited about something and end up rambling all about it. You can see how much passion they have for it and it's just the most adorable thing ever

3ridan:

riddlersgammon:

hyungstrider:

if you ever get Sad just throw whatever youre holding onto th ground and yell ‘FOOTBALL’ as loud as you can

what if its a baby

dont question the man he gave you clear fucking instructions

(Source: jellyworld, via condommodel)

tardisity:

The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.

(via condommodel)

bepeu:

what i learned in high school

• you can pass some classes by being friends with the teacher 
• there is more than one kind of cool
• if you write just random things on some homework then you may still get some point but the teacher will pull you aside because she is worried about you
• not all food is edible
• who cares

(via condommodel)

bromo-aj:

my twerkin’ song